This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
