I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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