i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
