your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
