They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
