38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
