I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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