My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
