when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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