Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
