My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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