i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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