We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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