does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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