Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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