we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
