you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize