She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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