I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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