he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
