We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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