she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
