drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
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Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
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