You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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