I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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