...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
