the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
