i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
