dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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