Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
