I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
