I hate your face
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
