Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
