We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize