Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
