so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
