Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Randomize
