I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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