It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize