But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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