I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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