I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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