Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
