I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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