i barfeds in our rink
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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