i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
