your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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