on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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