You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
