Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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