We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like, not good at living.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize