We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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