Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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