im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
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