I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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