I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
